Before we dive into this topic I’d like to address the phrase itself with basic definitions. When I say “skin-folk” I mean people of the same race, specifically when they are not otherwise closely associated or similar. For the people in the back that means I’d be talking about Black people when discussing MY skin-folk. Kinfolk to me is an expression saved for my family (blood or chosen), my people (the homies, relations) and my community (IRL & social).
Unfortunately due to various influences and reasons these two groups don’t always overlap. Often times we learn this the hard way, shocked and /or confused while somebody’s auntie speaks the words. Usually one of life’s lessons during our formative years, that comes back around acting brand new from time to time.
Since I am Black we’ll only be talking about Black people and my experiences from here on out.
So why is it that not all skin-folk are kinfolk (or as I first heard it “all skin folk ain’t kinfolk now”)?
Well the short answer is Blackness isn’t a monolith.
Sometimes the only thing we have in common is our skin, and this leads people to live in bubbles or islands. We see this commonly amongst those who have reached some socioeconomic status, how quickly they forget where they’ve come from - Meaning their people & culture NOT their money/assets or privilege here.
These individuals could never see themselves in others who may come from the same hardships/experiences but are still “lacking” or struggling.
We see it most when the selfish sellout their skin-folk to get ahead, a common sacrifice for the quick come up. There are more than enough examples to pick from here IRL but a very clear example was in the movie Queen & Slim (no spoilers but yeah). There are also subtler examples where an individual intentionally chooses to “separate” themselves from their race. This may also be an attempt to get ahead, while other times just typical self hate. The former may say something like “done talking about being Black”, the latter may just straight up declare “I’m not Black!”.
I love talking in tangents and with my hands but since I’m writing this you only have to deal with the former.
Imagine say, Underexposed yet Greatly Talented Athlete decides to start speaking up about the Black experience and general advocacy. Gains even more clout & attention than previously had, but uses this new access to only further their personal agenda. You would naturally be like “what the hell UGTA?!”, to their reply “I’m tired of the Black talk”.
I enjoy believing this scenario was the origin for the phrases “get ya boy”, “whose mans?”, and “who raised you?”.
It’s important to state for those in the back, these are rhetorical statements.
Black culture is already stripped from the people as it is, watered down and presented as a new thing. All the while the originators are stigmatized by society. So it’s worse when skin-folk use their own people for profit then leave their own people behind.
Too many Black people climbing the ladder off the strength of their skin-folk’s hope and dreams of change. People love looking up to “greats” or “champions” to get stuff done, and will back it quick. Then find out it was all for naught when legitimate advocacy is pushed aside. To be fair some people don’t even care and/or notice, contempt to praise “the Champ” through it all.
Nowadays with the world of social media, all white boards reach out to the first sign of Blackness available. Y’all remember how many Black squares flooded the internet.
“Is this person popular?”
“They’ve got access to an untapped demographic!”
“Perfect! Malleable enough too?”
“They won’t push back too hard, the money’s right” (that’s if they’re even paying)
Black people who are only Skin-folk will quickly sign up to be poster child for initiatives and the like, contempt on their throne. They’ll become the faces of copy-n-paste foundations, or join DEI panels that don’t actually do anything.
Kinfolk are in the trenches, less glamorous of course but they’re often the ones makings sure we get what we need. Kinfolk are a thankless few who without nearly half the resources, make it happen. Perhaps most iconically, you had skin-folk who maintained and played by massa’s rules. Kinfolk fought for freedom and had no qualms burning it all down.
What would make a person go against their own people, seemingly shared best interests. Honestly that answer takes more time to go over than I could ever manage. Personally, one of the biggest reasons today I feel this happens is due to the “pie mentality”.
Well what’s the pie mentality? In short, the idea that there is a finite amount of success or satisfaction in the world. Someone who does well is getting your slice of success or satisfaction. This is clearly toxic, and prevents collaboration at times you’d expect unity/solidarity. The pie mentality is a product of white supremacy, and the colonial foundations our society protects. This same pie mentality will lead skin-folk to believe they need only worry about themselves and getting theirs.
In actuality we can be figureheads for change/diversity AND bring about tangible progress. We can promote ourselves and bring along others to shine. We can get our foot in the door and make sure others get inside.
Throughout history we’ve done so much together and we continue this today. What we achieve unified will always yield more for our people than when we stand alone. It’s saddening to think about Seneca Village and the Greenwood District, what they could’ve been If left to continue thriving. It would appear there are those who gain more to keep us divided..
However it’s encouraging to see kinfolk buying land and what that will do for those communities.
All skin-folk should be kinfolk because we have enough stacked against us already. And despite this we still survive, thrive, create and shine together, for each other.